I don’t want to imply that Rajnikanth’s jokes are more famous than his movies. But let’s face it how many Rajni movies have you actually seen? And now count how many jokes you have come by - through sms or email forwards. Surely, much, much more!
Somehow his jokes turn out to be great LOL moments
Here are a few :
1. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
2. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
3. Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.
4. If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
5. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
6. Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
7. Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?
8. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
9. If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
10. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
11. Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"
12. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
13. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
14. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
15. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live
16)Rajnikant died 20yrs ago.death has not the courage to tell him.
17)Rajnikant doesnt pay attention. Attention pays him.
18)He participated in race & stood 1st 2nd & 3rd
19)There are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq rajnikant lives in chennai
20.When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
21.There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
22.Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
23.Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
24.Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
25.Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
26.Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
27.Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
28.Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
29.Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
30.Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
31.Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
32.Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
33.The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
34.Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
35.Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
36.Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
37.Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
38.Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
39.Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
40.Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
41.Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
42.Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
43.Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
44.Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
45.Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
46.Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
47.Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
48.Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
49.Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
50.Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
51.As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
52.Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
53.Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
54.Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
55.Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
56.To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
57.The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
58.Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
59.Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog
60.Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
And the Final PUNCH !!
“We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.”
:-P
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